By Leesa Harker
Leesa Harker's extraordinary Liverpool-based parody of fifty colours tells of the adventures of White Lightning-swigging Maggie Muff, who meets Mr giant on the Dole Tall, darkish and shaggable he can be, yet his pursuits are faraway from traditional, and while he introduces Maggie to the purple Room of ache she realises that she can have bitten off greater than she will chew.If you are looking for books like 50 colors of gray, yet wish whatever funnier, filthier and set within the center of Liverpool, this is often the fitting e-book for you. the muse for the sell-out play, starring Dannielle Malone.
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Extra resources for 51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style. A Liverpool parody of Fifty Shades of Grey
After a few of them cocktails, I was blocked an I was about to straddle him when he hit me with a bombshell: ‘Now, Margaret, I want you to know something about me. ’ I said ‘Kinky sex? Where do you want me? Will I put my high heels back on? Or will I get on to the piano? Or do you wanna do it doggie? ’ Then he said, ‘No, Margaret. ’ Then I thought to myself, oh fuck, I hope he’s not one of those men who dresses up as a woman. But it turned out that the red room was for pain. I nearly died. There was a big four-poster bed in the middle with red satin sheets an a swing comin down from the ceilin beside it.
Then Mr Big junior said maybe he should show me around the place an his mum an dad said they would leave us to it. I think Mrs Big was glad to see the back of us. ’ Floozie in the Jacuzzi So we got outside an there was the outhouse with the jacuzzi in it. Mr Big pressed a button that turned it on an it started bubblin away. It was far better than anything at the Nuffield Health Gym. So Mr Big said he’s off to get his trunks, an told me to get changed in the cubicle beside the jacuzzi. So I slipped into my bikini an ran out to the jacuzzi so I’d be the first one in.
She said Igor was huge too. As big as Long Schlong Silver, the stripper that we saw in Benidorm last year. Sure he had got Big Sally-Ann up on to the stage an made her slap sun-cream all over his wilbert. An I think his plan was to swing it about an flick the sun-cream all over her. But before you could say ‘factor fifty’, she was squirtin the cream all over him. An he almost died – it was in his long hair, in his eyes an everythin. She’s terrible when she gets started. In the end, a bouncer had to pluck her off him an we were told not to go back to that bar.
51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style. A Liverpool parody of Fifty Shades of Grey by Leesa Harker